How Do You Tell Your Children You Are Getting a Divorce?

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Telling your kids about divorce - Julie Clark, Attorney at LawAs a divorce attorney in Hemet, California, I often have to help people deal with difficult situations. The thought of ending a marriage can be heartbreaking, but sometimes it may be necessary.

I truly care for the well-being of people going through this life-changing situation, and they often come to me for answers to hard questions. Through years of experience, I’ve found that one question stands above all in difficulty:

How do I, or we, tell the children we are getting a divorce?

A recent article from The Huffington Post addresses this conversation, one that no parent ever wants to have.

Obviously, children will eventually realize that the relationship between their parents is ending.  How much you tell them about the circumstances of your personal love life, though, can impact how they receive the news.

Each situation carries with it a unique set of circumstances.  Timing and delivery will need to be different with each child, depending on their demeanor, ability to handle bad news, and any prior realization of their parents’ marital difficulties.

Licensed clinical physiologist Edward D. Farber believes that you only need to tell your children the basic facts:  Mom and Dad don’t love each other the way they used to and are not going to stay together.  He believes that they do not need to know the intimate details of why the marriage has failed, as the personal relationship between the parents is just that:  personal.

The judges, and the Court’s child custody recommending counselors, and most lawyers, recommend that you tell the children together, with neither person blaming the other.  If this is not possible, then you may have to discuss it alone.

As I said before, these situations are extremely delicate, as the relationship between children and their parents is one of the most important in the world.  Be honest with your children when the time comes to tell them, but make sure that you do not give them unnecessary information that would be damaging to their relationship with you or with the other parent.  In the long run, you will be glad that you took the high road, and protected the children from facts that they do not need to know.

If you are considering a divorce in Hemet, California, contact an experienced divorce attorney to discuss questions like these.

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About Julie Clark

Julie M. Clark graduated from the University of the Pacific’s McGeorge School of Law. She has been practicing law in Riverside County since February of 1992. Julie Clark's Google+ Profile


  1. Tim Blankenship says:

    It is nice to say that you truly care about families going through divorce. I think that gets put on the back burner sometimes when attorneys are trying to fight for their clients rights.

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